Category Mom Life

Holla-Daze 2018

amomsfaithunbroken Leave a comment

Happy, Happy, Holla-Daze

Holla – as in we do a lot of “Holla!” and “Hello!” catching up with family and friends; and daze – as the hustle and bustle of the season seems to fly by while we are in a daze.

Truth be told, I have forever been a bonafide Grinch! For whatever reason, the holiday season has always been a time of stress, dread, and wanting the time to pass quickly for me.

This year was my most festive and least dreaded holiday season thus far, which I attribute to my children.

Like the Grinch, my heart at one time was two sizes too small. With the birth of my daughter, my heart grew by one size; and with the birth of my second child, my son, my heart grew by another. That’s my theory anyway.

Holidays with a two and three-year-old are stressful, but add in some travel and that increases the stress level. Then, add in that one of the said children is nonverbal and in the process of learning to communicate and has ASD and SPD, with some pretty big sensory issues that effect basically every aspect of life, it makes for a very unpredictable and fly by the seat of our pants adventure. But truly, who am I kidding? Every day we fly by the seat of our pants on this big adventure: life.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was spent a state away visiting my husband’s family. Thankfully, the children travel pretty well, so car rides really aren’t too eventful.

We were able to meet many new family members on Thanksgiving. I’m talking little ones we hadn’t yet had the opportunity to meet since their birth. We also had the opportunity to introduce our children to cousins and second cousins they hadn’t yet had the opportunity to meet. There were many little ones around.

The meal was delicious, and my husband’s grandma is an amazing cook/baker and prepared the entire meal for all of us.

Ada is at an age where she can play with the older kids on her own and doesn’t require so much supervision. That makes things quite a bit easier on my husband and me. She had a lot of fun playing all day, and ate at the “kids’ table” with the other kids.

Mealtimes are always a challenge, as Augustus has many issues with food and the mechanics of eating so it’s always a chore to figure out what he will eat, how he will eat it, where he will eat it, and the clean up of the giant mess afterwards. My husband and I usually have to eat in shifts. It’s really not an option to seat Gus at the table or even on one of our laps, because he has a reach like you wouldn’t believe and will stick his hands in everything. Augustus’ food preferences change often and vary from day to day. He is receiving feeding therapy at LifeScape to help him be able to deal with a variety of foods and learn to eat them in a more appropriate manner. He struggles with this because of his autism and his sensory issues involving all senses. In therapy, he is working on things such as how to drink out of an open cup and taking one bite at a time and being able to tolerate more than one food at a time on his plate, etc. He has to use a sippy cup unless we are practicing using an open cup because his very first instinct is to touch any and everything. Therefore, his hand instantly goes inside the cup. If he is eating one food and another is accessible on his plate or in front of him, he will remove the food in his mouth and throw it on the floor and try the other food. It’s confusing and hard to explain, but in short, he has big issues with the actual act of eating and tolerating food and their tastes, textures, smells, etc.

Thanksgiving basically went off without any major hitch other than that while playing, Augustus decided to try to pick up his one-year-old second cousin by his hair. He did also try to take the tablecloth off of the table while his dad was holding him at the table after lunch and did spill a cup of soda. He made a less than usual mess with eating. All in all a pretty successful meal and fellowship with family. We were even lucky enough for Gus to get a nap in while we were there!

Christmas Cookies

A bunch of family members met at my mom’s house a few days before Christmas to frost and decorate Christmas cookies. Even though I knew there was no way Gus would appropriately participate, I let him try. Of course, he just ate the cookie and wanted to get into things and make a mess. That’s okay. Like I typed, I knew that going in. I do have to admit that I had a bit of a hard time with it because Gus and I were unable to participate and had to spend some time outside. I felt bad for him and bad for Ada because I was unable to help her out with this festive and memorable task. Of course, there was plenty of family there to help, but really I am best at keeping an eye on Gus and predicting what he’s going to do and best at calming him, etc. But, as I’ve mentioned before, a lot of things sting and there is just a lot we are all going to have to accept and get used to.

Christmas Eve
Our First Sensory Meltdown

Christmas Eve was spent fairly close to home (30 minutes or so away – with all the traveling we do, 30 minutes isn’t much) at my husband’s sister’s home with my sister-in-law, my father-in-law, my future brother-in-law, my nieces, and a few others. We were served New York Strip steaks and lobster tails with all kinds of other delicious foods.

We showed up early so the kids would have time to play with their cousins. It started out pretty well. They have a nice toy room the kids played in. Granted, we are not sure if Gus ingested some small toys and things we didn’t know were there until later when we saw him put some in his mouth. Either way, he hasn’t had any issues since, so he’s fine.

Before supper Gus had what I would call a “sensory meltdown”. To explain, a lot of kids with ASD and SPD are hypersensitive to lights, smells, pressure, etc., but Gus is hyposensitive and wants all kinds of sensory input to include pressure, jumping, etc. These meltdowns can happen at any time and are exacerbated when he is tired and when he is not in his own environment with a lot of new people and new things around. Not to mention, it’s Christmastime so there are lots of lights and decorations and gifts. Unlike a hypersensitive meltdown where a child wants quiet, calm, and familiarity, Gus wants input and lots of it. He absolutely would not sit still and was just getting out of control. I eventually took him into a bedroom and turned the lights down and turned on a familiar television show. I let him jump on the bed, as jumping is one of his favorite things. He jumped, he rolled, he was all over the place. He bit me, he scratched me, I was eventually in tears. Yes, children Gus’ age often bite, but for a very different reason. Gus bites because he likes oral sensory input. That’s why he wears a chewy on his shirt so he has that input when he needs it. When using his chewy, he is often able to focus better on tasks, etc. At this point, the chewy was no good, and he was biting me for sensory input. He was so out of control that I ended up sitting on the bed and seating him between my legs and wrapping my legs around his to give him the pressure he likes and to keep him from being destructive and biting and scratching. I then rocked back and forth to give him some vestibular sensory input as well. Nothing was working, and I felt it was best to take him home, but my husband did not agree and said he’d take over for a while. So, as usual, we had to trade off and on so we could each eat and get Gus fed. This was not Gus’ first sensory meltdown, but his first since his diagnoses and me actually understanding what was going on. It’s so hard when this happens, because he is not in control. He is just doing what he feels his body needs. We thought we had gained some ground with his biting, as he hadn’t bit anyone for a long time. Recently, he bit his speech therapist and my husband and me. I plan to talk with his occupational therapists about a sensory diet for when these meltdowns occur. A sensory diet is tools and activities that help a child get the sensory input they need to again feel regulated and end meltdowns. This will involve a lot of trial and error.

As I sat there restraining him and rocking him back and forth and feeling where he bit me throb on my shoulder, I couldn’t help but look to the future and wonder if things will always be this way. What happens when he’s bigger than I am? He’s already tall and a big boy and it’s no easy task to pick him up, etc. Hopefully, with time, trial and error, and his therapy we will be able to help him learn to self-regulate.

It was still overall a good evening, although a very tiring one, as I had a lot to do once we got home, too. I am glad that the kids got to play with their cousins, and Gus did eventually settle down and calmly played in the play room later.

Although I really wanted to take him home and let him and I be in our calm place, I am glad my husband didn’t let me because it’s important for him to be with his family as much as possible and for us to figure out what triggers meltdowns and how to deal with them. It’s just a part of our life now, and we need to get used to it.

Christmas Day

In my unusually festive demeanor this year, I decided I would host Christmas at my house for my family. I invited my parents, my father-in-law, my sister, her fiance, and my niece. I did this in part because I knew it would be a lot easier on Gus and all of us and because I live in the house my father grew up in, and I knew he would really like to celebrate a holiday with his own family in his childhood home.

Not only did I host and invite everyone over, I took on the task of preparing all of the main dishes to include a brined turkey, a pork roast, mashed potatoes, 2 kinds of gravy, and biscuits. My husband made some amazing macaroni so the kids would have something to eat for sure, and he even decided to make an apple pie that was seriously the most delicious apple pie I have ever tasted in all of my life. My sister and mom did help out by bringing appetizers and desserts as well. Man, I ate so much it was just ridiculous. That’s what it’s about, though, fellowship and eating, being merry, and rejoicing and remembering the reason for the season.

Christmas Day was a breeze in comparison to Christmas Eve. The kids were in their own environment and it made things so much easier for Augustus. When he got to a point where he was tired, he simply laid down and went to sleep. Unfortunately, he fell asleep just as we were about to open gifts. I say unfortunately because my family and I wanted to see him open his gifts. It was not unfortunate for Gus. He was in his environment and comfortable and needed sleep; so, he slept rather than having a sensory meltdown not wanting to go to sleep because of all the sensory input around and wanting more.

All in all, Augustus doesn’t care about opening gifts or getting presents. Yes, this is sad in a lot of ways. He’s not feeling the excitement and joy of the season. It’s also okay though, because Gus is almost always happy because he doesn’t worry about things like holidays and gifts. He lives every day seemingly not worrying about the past or the future. When it comes down to it, he is neurologically different than most, but maybe he is in some ways neurologically superior because he doesn’t waste time on things and doesn’t sweat the small stuff. He is a lover and he is a worker. It amazes me to think how hard he works every single day just to do the things we all take for granted.


Ada enjoyed the magic and festivities that most kids love during Christmas. We left cookies and milk out for Santa, and even carrots for the reindeer. Santa even left her some cookie crumbs to eat, which she was super excited about. When asked what her favorite gift was she replied “The candy!” I couldn’t ask for a better daughter. She is the perfect sibling for Gus. She has a heart of gold, and I plan to nurture that. She is also a very strong willed little firecracker when she wants to be, which I also plan to nurture. A perfect combination.

The above was our holidays in a nutshell. I wouldn’t change it for the world. This is my messy, happy, sad, confusing, frustrating, enthralling, exhausting, amazing, and blessed life. I have been given this life and these circumstances for a reason, and I’m here to show everyone that it’s all meant to be.

I hope you all had a memorable and enjoyable holiday season.

Be watching for more posts in the New Year!

– AMomsFaithUnbroken

Today I was hit right square in the “feels”. My phone greeted me this morning with my Facebook Memories, which are a recap of things you’ve shared on Facebook in years passed.

One year ago, I shared a picture and an update about Augustus, who had just turned 18 months old.

The caption to this picture read:

“This guy is 18-months-old today! 😲 Can you believe it!? I can’t. 😢 He is a boy of few words, which I think is largely in part to the fact that his older sister never stops talking. 😄 He is always on the move.🏃‍♂️ Even when he watches tv, he walks around. He loves to crawl up onto things and climb. 😓 He has grown 3 INCHES in the last 6 months, and is very close to being off the charts for his height. His height to weight ratio is perfect. So, in other words, he’s a big ol’ healthy boy! 💪 He’s still a big eater and isn’t too picky. 🍗 He adores books and asks to be read to often. 📗 He also likes to sit by himself and look at books. He’s really into throwing and rolling balls around.⚾️ He loves anything with wheels. 🏍 He has a little camoflauge blankie with a stuffed animal deer head on it that is his absolute goto for comfort. ☺ He has to have it to sleep. 😴 He’s big on sleep. He gets a little fussy and wants to go to bed or take a nap and is all for it. 👏 He still likes to wrestle and often uses his head as a weapon. 😏 His sister likes to boss him around and even push him around. 😣 He’s such a lover, though. He usually doesn’t fight back. He loves to give hugs and kisses, and loves to rest his head against mine for some snuggles. He is the sweetest. 😍💙”

Sweet, huh?

Then, in the comments, I elaborated on some details my friends had inquired about:

At this time we were starting to come to terms that maybe something was going on with Gus, but just weren’t sure, and not yet willing to admit it.

I could take the caption to that adorable picture and pick it apart, piece by piece, and show you that what I was describing, although very vaguely and unaware, were some of the symptoms of autism spectrum disorder and sensory processing disorder.

Autism taketh away…

Notice in the comments I mentioned the words he was using? Although they were few, he was using words; for a while. They eventually went away.

That’s what really hit me. It hit me that I’m not even sure I remember what that sweet little voice sounded like, because I never thought it would go away. We all take so many things for granted, such as the voices of our loved ones. I was fortunate enough to hear him say “mama”, which is more than some can say, and I am blessed in that.

That’s what autism has taken away. It took away my son’s voice; his ability to communicate verbally. What I wouldn’t give to hear him say “I love you.” I’d even love to hear him argue with his sister.

While he still makes noises and sounds, he does not speak. Maybe he will again one day, but maybe he wont.

Autism took away the future I saw for my son and my family.

Autism took the wind out of my sails (initially).

Autism rules my schedule and routines.

Autism filled me with doubt and changed the way I see almost everything.

Autism requires my son, my baby, to work so much harder than most to be socially accepted and understood and to learn. He learns differently.

He is different not less!

Autism giveth…

Autism has given me absolute proof that love requires no words. None. That in itself is probably worth more than everything it has taken away.

Autism has given me a new outlook on life and a new way to view things.

Autism has broadened my horizons and introduced me to things and people I would have likely never come across otherwise.

I’ve got some hella wind in my sails now! It took it away, but sent it back with a vengeance.

Autism has given me understanding.

Autism has given me an understanding that words are not needed to communicate.

Autism has given me strength; so much strength.

Autism has renewed my faith and renewed my trust in God.

Autism has given me an entirely unique, loving, affectionate, smiley, and happy son to fulfill my life; my family’s lives.

God has entrusted me with what is perfect and planned for me.

I always wanted to be a mother. That’s all I ever knew. When it became obvious that may never happen I turned to fertility treatments and had my beautiful daughter. Then God, in his own timing, blessed our family with this amazing and unique little boy who would bring us all together and build us all up in strength, understanding, and love, and show me a side of motherhood many don’t see.

Both of my children are perfect for me and to me.

Autism: It Giveth and It Taketh Away

– AMomsFaithUnbroken

Autism: It Giveth and It Taketh Away

amomsfaithunbroken Leave a comment

The Controversial Child Safety Device

amomsfaithunbroken Leave a comment

The “anti-lost strap”. The “walking harness”. The “hand belt”. The “wrist harness”. The “child harness”. The “safety harness”. The “backpack leash”. AKA a child leash. They come in many forms, shapes, sizes, and colors. And boy, are they a hot button issue.

In this blog post, I will refer to them as a leash, because plain and simple, that’s what they are.

I remember the first time I saw an adult with a child on a leash. I was in a mall, if my memory serves correctly, The Mall of America even, and I had to have been 4 or 5-years-old. It was an entirely foreign concept to me. I had never seen it before. I remember the adults I was with having some not so kind comments about it, which made sense to me.

I grew up thinking, and continued thinking well into adulthood, that leashing a child was lazy parenting and abusive to children. I kept this position on the topic until the tables turned.

Before I go any further, I want to talk about a story that inspired me to blog about this topic. I considered this topic in the past, but then felt maybe it wasn’t worth the controversy or feels. You see, blogging is a way for me to sit down and think, deal, and feel…feel intensely; really dig deep and share my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, I struggle to motivate myself to blog because I don’want to deal with the feels, even though I know how good it is for me to just do it.

The Story that Inspired this Blog Post (click this to read)

It was all over the headlines the last week and a half or so. Maybe you saw it. (?) An autistic 6-year-old boy from North Carolina was at a park with his father and his father’s friend when he took off running and his father could not catch up and lost sight of him. They searched for him for days before finding his lifeless body in a marshy area in 2-3 feet of water. When I came upon this story and read it, I literally shed tears and my stomach sunk in a way that is hard to describe.

Autistic individuals have a tendency to bolt. I have mentioned this before in previous blog posts, as my son is a “bolter”. Also, drowning is the leading cause of death in children with autism. They do not fear water and do not understand the consequences of entering the water.

The first time my son bolted on me, he ended up well over 100 yards away from me at a dead run and did not respond at all to his name or anything else for that matter. Thankfully, his dad was able to catch up to him. It was scary and made me realize just how fast it can happen and how fast he can move!

The reason this hit close to home is because, as mentioned, my son bolts and does not fear bodies of water. Also, per his therapists, it is recommended that we use a wrist leash to give him some freedom while outdoors or in situations dangerous for “bolters”. It will give him more freedom and also give caregivers a break from carrying a curious wiggling always moving 35+ pound 2-year-old everywhere to keep him safe.

Yes, leashes have their dangers. A wrist leash can be dangerous in that if the child falls down and the leash is used to help assist standing it can dislocate the child’s shoulder or wrist. But anything can be dangerous. That’s why we have to do our research so we can use devices as they are meant to be used to avoid injury and accidents.

A child leash can be used as a helpful safety device or as a mechanism to show control. Obviously, I just want to be able to enjoy events and outings with my child and keep him safe. It’s not as easy as just keeping my eye on him. It is impossible to keep your eye on any one child all the time. Literally, all the time. My child requires constant overseeing to keep him safe, for now.

I did get a wrist leash for my autistic 2-year-old child. I did this to keep him safe.

I am already well aware of the stares and the looks I will receive because I used to give those looks and stare myself. It is so easy to judge and misunderstand until you come to a place where you find out that putting your child on a leash is literally the best thing for his safety in some situations.

I will do anything for my children. Anything. Even if it means looking like a lazy or domineering parent.

It is impossible to know someone’s situation, and this for me has been the perfect example of why we should not judge.

This isn’t the only situation I’ve come across in that my views have changed significantly. We live. We learn. We evolve.

– AMomsFaithUnbroken

30 Things I’ve Learned in 30 Years

amomsfaithunbroken Leave a comment

These are in no particular order or sequence.

1. Take care of your skin.

First of all, wear sunscreen! I learned this the hard way and have plenty of skin discoloration and issues to show for it. Also, it’s never too early for anti-aging products. I only wish I would have cared more about my skin in my teens and 20s. Wash your face!

2. Alcohol has never done me any favors.

This is a quote taken from my dad. I’m not saying I don’t and won’t drink. I’m saying that I am well aware of how stupid it is. I finally seem to be at an age where I know my limits; not to say that I don’t sometimes still exceed them. I’ve had a lot of fun drinking, but no, it has never done me any favors.

3. Share your story, to include the good and the bad.

Now that I’m 30, I’m finally at an age where I know who my real friends are. That being said, I know who i can really open up to. Having those few you can really open up to is priceless. It’s freeing. From a religious standpoint, it’s nice to be able to share the good and the bad and know I’m not being judged and am being prayed for. As you may have noticed, I’m an open book for the most part. I share a lot. Why? Because you just never know who you might be helping by sharing your story.

4. Smoking is bad.

This one seems obvious, because it is! Now that I’m older, though, it’s a whole lot easier to see just how bad it is for a person. When we’re younger old age seems so far away – we don’t worry about it. Now I’m like “Okay, you’re pushing your luck!” Did I want to quit? No. Did I feel I needed to quit? Yes. I’m 72 hours without a cigarette right now. It was time. I’m always going to miss it. My advice is not to start in the first place.

5. Forgive yourself and others.

This is BIG. In my life, I have found it harder to forgive myself than to forgive others. And trust me, I’ve held a few grudges in my day. I now see just how toxic holding on to those negative feelings is. Holding a grudge and negative feelings doesn’t do anyone any good and does nothing but hurt you; eating you up on the inside. True and real forgiveness is hard and something you have to work on, but once you get there, it’s worth it. Forgiving yourself is an even harder feat. I still sometimes struggle with this, as I think everyone will throughout their life. BUT life goes on. There’s no reason to hold onto yesterday when today is lying ahead. I know I’m forgiven, so why not forgive myself!?

6. No one’s house is ever completely clean.

Oh man have I struggled with this one. I like clean. It makes me feel at ease. I’ve had to train myself to accept that there are two kinds of dirty. There is dirty (think cluttered), as in there are things strung out throughout the house and then there is dirty, as in things are grimy, stinky, dusty, rank, dirty-dirty. I have come to accept that messy is okay sometimes. I have to prioritize to keep my sanity.

7. You don’t always have to say what’s on your mind.

Really! It took me years and years and years to comprehend this concept. Honesty is absolutely always the best policy. I actually prefer blunt honesty, but not everyone else feels the same. It’s important to be honest but use some tact in how you portray and share things. I’m not even talking sugarcoating here. I’m just talking saying and sharing advice and things in a tactful un-brash (is that a word?) manner.

8. Ask for help.

Coming from Miss Independent herself…I’ve always taken pride in being extraordinarily independent in life. After graduating high school at the age of 18, I got my own place, car insurance, cell phone, you name it. I didn’t waste any time. I was all about being on my own. Well, on my own, with the exception of my husband (then boyfriend) being by my side.  My husband and I always kept this stance until lately. There were a lot of times in life I (or we) should have just asked for help and saved ourselves a lot of unnecessary grief and trouble. Now that I have young children, one with developmental delays, help is no longer an option, it’s an absolute necessity. Swallow your pride and ask for help when you need it.

9. Be kind to everyone.

This one is so easy. It takes so much time and energy to be negative and unkind. I can’t think of anyone at this point in my life that I wouldn’t be nice or kind to. First of all, everyone deserves kindness. Secondly, I’m just too tired to be anything but kind.

10. Take (calculated) risks.

I will include my husband in this one, as I have spent my whole adult life by his side. We have taken so many risks; so many big, scary, life altering risks. And boy have we crashed and burned a few times. The road-rash and burns heal, and we learn. There is not one risk we have taken that I wouldn’t take again in the same situations. Live a life of “oh wells” rather than a life of “what ifs”. Take chances, make mistakes!

11. Ask/Don’t fear “no”.

This is one I live by. Do you think you deserve a raise? Ask. Does something seem off? Ask about it. Guess what? The worst thing that’s going to happen if you ask is that you’re going to hear “no”. It’s just a word. Learn to be okay with hearing “no”.

12. Don’t be afraid to say “no”.

This relates back to #11. Not only do I not fear asking, I don’t fear saying “no” myself. There came a point in my life where I realized I didn’t have to do things solely to make others happy. In order to live a good life you need to be happy and rarely should someone else’s life come before yours.

13. Rid yourself of toxic people, relationships, and situations.

This relates back to #11 and #12. We all have to do things we don’t like, but if something is truly causing you emotional or mental harm quit doing it! It doesn’t matter if it makes sense to anyone else. You do not need an excuse to do what’s right for you. I learned this throughout my 20’s. There were a few situations in my life that I would literally dread and worry about to the point of them consuming me. Why? I don’t really know. All I know is that said situations were unhealthy for me, and that once I cut them out of my life a huge weight was lifted. Whether it’s a toxic person, a toxic relationship, or a toxic environment…let.it.go.

14. Drink water.

First of all, I feel so much better when I drink the recommended amount of water daily. Yes, it makes me have to make frequent bathroom breaks, but to me that is reassuring. The system is getting flushed out! I also learned long ago that there are so many hidden calories in beverages. I’d so much rather get my calories through food than a drink.

15. Wake up and makeup.

No, I don’t mean literally put makeup on. I mean put whatever amount of effort into your appearance makes you feel good. I was always the type that would roll out of bed ten minutes before I had to be somewhere. I didn’t feel self conscious about my appearance, but I found that I just felt tired and blah throughout the day. Just recently, I have started actually getting ready for my day; washing my face, dressing for the task, possibly putting on some makeup – whether it’s some under eye concealer or the whole shebang. Whatever I feel I need to do that day to feel my best is what I do. It has helped.

16. Invest in a good calendar and/or planner.

Just this year I invested in a Bloom daily planner (check them out). I made this investment even before my son was found to have some developmental delays and all of the phone calls, consults, and doctor visits began. Organization and calm go hand-in-hand.

17. Prioritize relationships. 

Love grows where you water it.

18. Be present.

In today’s world, this is more relevant than ever before. Put down your phone or tablet and close the laptop and live in the moment. This moment you will never get back. This moment you must be present in to remember later. Don’t mask your feelings. Feel all the feels.

19. Have genuine interest in others.

I truly have genuine interest in everyone I meet! I think this sometimes drives my husband crazy because I will talk to anyone and everyone. He seems to think I always single out the…how shall I put this…uh…his words aren’t appropriate…the seemingly lesser accepted people in society (?). That’s the best I can do. If you want to know what he thinks, ask him sometime. Anyway, his views are not mine, and I am interested in everyone’s story. I want to learn from them and they can learn from me. I don’t care who they are.

20. Get the haircut.

Not just the haircut: the piercing, the tattoo, the new hair color. Be bold. If you can’t stop thinking about it, just do it. Life is short and our bodies are temporary.

21. Slow down.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the routine and in the hustle and bustle of life. Slow down and don’t miss out on what’s really important.

22. Happiness comes from within.

Probably the greatest truth I have learned. Someone at work the other day called me “smiley” and said they had never seen me without a smile on my face. Those of you that know me and have known me probably think that sounds insane. I get it. I haven’t always been this way. At this stage in my life, I am happy with me which allows me to be happy and accepting of every other part of my life. Find out what it takes, and get happy and share that happiness. It’s contagious.

23. Focus on Him and study scripture.

I’ve known this my whole life, but have never applied it until recently. This is one thing I do wish I would have implemented a lot earlier in life. I have always been a believer but never put the time and effort into it that it deserves. It is so true that once you place your focus on God and put him first above all and actually study and apply yourself to His Word that everything starts making more sense and falling into place. My priorities have become more obvious. I am happier. I am saved.

24. Write it down.

It is a proven fact that if you write something down you are much more likely to do it. Whether it’s a to-do list or your goals, write it down!

25. Keep a hobby.

No matter how busy and all consuming a family, job, career, life in general gets, it’s so important to keep something just for you. Whether it’s gardening, reading, writing, exercising, hiking, crafts, scrapbooking, cooking, baking, you name it, keep it alive! It will keep you alive.

26. Family really is everything.

Everything I’ve faced in my adult life has brought me back to the simple fact that family really is everything. Family is probably the easiest thing to take for granted. Now I just try to even imagine where I’d be without my family, and I cannot even fathom it.

27. Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

I am big on this! I’m glad you love cheese and sorry you hate eggs, but I’d so much rather hear about why you love and promote and advocate for cheese than all the reasons you hate eggs and why we all should, too. (I know, weird example, but that’s all I could come up with besides political crap.) To me this goes along with not complaining. We all need to vent at times, but just think how irritating it is when you talk to someone and all they do is complain.

28. Find a job you love (eventually).

We can’t graduate high school or college and then jump right into doing exactly what we know we’ve always wanted to do. Most of us don’t even know by that time exactly what it is we want to do. It takes time and patience, but with time and patience, it can and will all fall into place if you work hard for it. My dream was always to be a stay-at-home-mom. My husband made that dream come true, whether it was the best for us financially or not. It was definitely right for us as a family. I got to live my dream. Now I am out in the workforce, but only part-time. I may have went to school and got a degree in Medical Transcription, but I honestly like tending bar more at this point in my life. Life changes and we evolve. Guess what? If the job you find and love isn’t what you went to school for oh freaking well. We change. Life changes. You don’t have to know exactly what you want all the time and exactly what you want will most likely change as you age.

29. Learn from others.

There is nothing more valuable than being able to speak to someone who has been there and done that.

30. Time is the most valuable thing in life.

Time flies. The older we get, the faster it goes. Don’t take even one second for granted.

– AMomsFaithUnbroken

 

A Day in the Life

amomsfaithunbroken Leave a comment

I am not being sarcastic in titling this “A Day in the Life”. This really is THE life. This is the life God knows is perfect for ME. This is MY life. This busy season I am in will not last forever. I sometimes have to remind myself of this…okay, maybe daily, but I really, truly, seriously wouldn’t have my life any other way.

I did have a frustrating and difficult day, and it’s not even over yet. I guess I’m kind of in a venting mood and figure if I blog about it, you get to choose whether you want to read it or not. It’s also a good way for me to look at how I’m managing my time etc. and an opportunity for you to see a little bit of what goes on “behind the scenes”.

8:00 AM – The kids slept in today, but only because bedtime was a bit of a disaster last night. Dad has been sick and was home later than usual this morning. Dad got the kids up and got them breakfast and Gus his allergy medicine. I got to stay in bed a few minutes longer. Hallelujah.

8:20 AM – Ada is at my bedside and wants me out of bed NOW. I try to resist to no avail. Gus wanders in and shuts the window air conditioner off and on a few times. He then gets in my closet and sits down and attempts to pull some clothes down off the hangers. Dad leaves to run some errands.

8:30 AM – I’m dressed and ready for the day. The kids have been up for half an hour now and already have toys spread throughout the living room. That’s the norm around here.

8:30 AM – 9:15 AM – Get some SeneGence (my makeup business) orders ready to mail and deliver. Ada wants to color. Get Ada’s crayons, markers, and coloring books out. She has a constant narrative while she’s coloring and begs me to color with her. I feel bad, but have to get my work done. Gus is trying to take things off of the table and counters no matter how many times I redirect him and tell him not to. He’s running back and forth between Ada’s bedroom and the living room just throwing things around. The norm…

9:15 AM – Dad shows back up with the mail and hands me a big manila envelope from LifeScape in Sioux Falls, SD. I open it up to find lots and lots and lots of paperwork and assessments to fill out. I’m overwhelmed. There is literally a message in this envelope that says “Fill out the forms and assessments enclosed in this packet. We understand completing all of these forms may feel overwhelming. We recommend starting to fill out one assessment/form a day, starting today, and you will be done in less than 1 week.” Did I start today? No. This goes right along with one of my previous blog posts, “Whelmed…A Bit Overly”. The paperwork never ends. NEVER. I also find out in this letter that my son needs another evaluation by a specialist prior to his appointment at LifeScape in Sioux Falls, SD, and that this appointment must take place more than 3 weeks before he is to be seen at LifeScape and if not his appointment at LifeScape will be cancelled and it will be months and months before he will be able to be rescheduled in. Okay…So, I start making some phone calls and leave some messages to try to get this all scheduled and sorted out. Dad leaves for work.

10:00 AM – Time to run errands. I make a list of all of our stops in hopes I won’t forget something. I take my packages to be mailed, my list, and my purse to the car before I even start getting the kids ready.

10:01 – 10:20 AM – Get the kids dressed, hair combed, shoes on, and ready to go. Ada insists on picking a pretty for her hair and has to go through all 50 pieces before deciding on one while I attempt to keep Gus from getting into them. Ada is dressed, her hair is combed, and we put a pretty in her hair. She has a dilemma over which shoes to wear and decides to wear her brother’s sandals. Whatever. As long as she has shoes on. She has about 3 different meltdowns because she wants to put them on herself but they keep falling off. In the meantime, Gus is running wild, literally, screaming and running around the house. That’s kind of his thing. I catch him and get him dressed and his shoes on. Have I mentioned that sometimes dressing him is like wrestling a 30+ pound rolling biting alligator?

10:20 – 10:35 AM – We head to the car. Ada’s shoe (well, Gus’ shoe on Ada’s foot) falls off and we have a meltdown. “Wait for me!” “Me first!” I convince her to calm down and put her shoe back on while I try to help Gus down the stairs. You see, Gus struggles with stairs, and it is something we are working on per his physical therapists’ request. He has a really hard time going down stairs and requires a lot of help. We finally get outside, Gus falls down and on his way up picks up a small rock and puts it in his mouth. Have I mentioned he puts EVERYTHING in his mouth. It’s something we have to be vigilant about constantly. I wrestle him and get the rock out of his mouth. I get him strapped into his car seat. Whew! Now Ada gets in on the other side of the car. I look at Ada and think, “Shoot, we forgot your glasses!” So, I run inside to get her glasses for her. By the time I get back to the car with her glasses, she is in tears and wailing. I ask her what’s wrong and she says she needs “baby”, which is her stuffed animal Goofy that she takes everywhere. I can also smell that Gus needs his diaper changed. I get Gus inside and get his diaper changed and find baby, but I cannot find baby’s blanket that he takes everywhere with him. I think “I hope she doesn’t notice.” Gus and I get back to the car. I buckle him in for the second time. Ada is still in tears and lights up as soon as I hand her baby. I told her baby decided it was too hot for a blanket in the car. She’s okay with that, thankfully. Let’s just hope I can find said blanket for baby before bedtime tonight.

10:35 – 11:00 – First we go through the bank drive-thru. Then we hit the post office. Then I drop something off at work. Then we need to go to the courthouse. There is road construction going on in town, so we finally find a spot right off of a busy street and get out of the car. I unstrap the kids from their car seats, and as I get Gus out he bites me in the hand. Yay! Gus likes to “bolt” as they call it and run off, so someone absolutely has to have his hand at all times or he will literally run and not look back. He still strains and tries to get away, but I keep a tight grip on his hand. Every few steps he decides just to stop and try to sit down. When that doesn’t work, he tries to twist and walk backwards, which makes him lose his balance and stumble. I lift him back up. This happens roughly 5 times just getting to the door of the courthouse from the car. Ada has to be prompted along, as she is interested in the rocks and things painted on the sidewalk and so on. We make it to the courthouse doors and now we’ve got three flights of stairs to go up. Remember what I said about Gus and stairs? Well he’s refusing to even attempt to go up the stairs even while I’m holding his hand, so we give up and I carry him. (Yes, there is an elevator, but it is old and scary and I once saw two of my friends get stuck in it.) Have I mentioned I have terrible back problems? Ada goes up the stairs with constant commentary and narrative being sure to yell loud enough it echoes. We get to the office we need to be in. I was sure to fill out my check before we got there so I wouldn’t have to let go of Gus’ hand to write a check. While waiting for my receipt, Gus is yelling and trying to escape my grip and push buttons on the fax/copy machine. Then he decides to lick the chair in front of the desk we are standing at. Ick! I’m sweating. Now it’s time to head back down the stairs. Ada demands independence and has to crawl down them backwards. I try with Gus for a while, but eventually give up and carry him. Ada has the same yelling and narrative all the way down as she did going up. Okay, Whew! We make it back to the front door of the courthouse. Ada heads out first, and Gus almost gets his hand shut in the door. We play the same try to run away game and sit down several times. Gus manages to wriggle his little hand out of mine and takes a seat in the grass and wants to stay there. I get him back up and on our way. I’m sweating. Ada has to stop and select 6 rocks to take home. I try to talk her out of it. I even try to get stern with her. It’s no good. The rocks come in the car with us. She has so many, that she needs me to hold three of them. She’s getting impatient while I’m trying to get Gus in the car without anyone getting run over.

11:00 – 11:25 AM – I need to put gas in the car. NEED to, as in the low fuel light has been on and it doesn’t even give me a number for miles left on the tank. We get to the gas station, I pump my gas, I go inside to pay. I get back to the car and decide I’ll grab a sandwich from Subway for lunch for myself and find the kids something as well. I go into Subway. By the time I’m back in the car there are tears again from Ada. She is sobbing and yelling. I ask her what’s wrong. “I was trying to hide my rocks and now one is stuck!” The rock is somehow lodged behind Gus’ car seat. She can’t get it out. I can’t get it out. I end up having to unbuckle Gus car seat to get the stupid rock out from behind it. We then head to the other gas station. Ada comes in and we grab some lunch for her and her brother and head to the counter to pay. She chose a Ninja Turtle topped juice for both her and her brother. Hers with a red tie around its eyes and Gus’ with blue. The cashier rings up her juice and hands it back to her. She kisses her juice and says “Oh, thank you. I love it so much!” Okay, that was cute.

11:25 AM – We are home from errands. Nearly an hour to do a few quick tasks, but this is my life and I must now plan accordingly. We get out of the car and all walk inside. I make another trip to the car to grab my purse and our lunch.

11:30 AM – Lunchtime! Mealtimes really, really wear on me. Ada does pretty well, other than that she likes to play with her food at times. Gus on the other hand…It doesn’t matter what he eats or how, I have to sweep and mop when it’s over. He has to be vigorously scrubbed down if not thrown in the tub. This is at every meal, people! No, it’s not his fault at all, but it is trying for me. He has a thing with textures of food and tends to crumble, squish, or tear up anything he eats. He also really likes to throw things on the floor, rub food in his hair, dump his plate on the table and rub his food into the table, and then put his plate on his head. This is every meal, people. EVERY MEAL. Yes, toddlers do this, but he is over 2 and considered a “preschooler” and we aren’t getting anywhere at all with it. Not yet, anyway. Also, when Gus drinks something, when he is done taking a drink, he launches his cup. This includes during mealtimes. So, we are still using sippy cups. We don’t have a choice. He also likes to get a big mouthful of milk, juice, water, whatever, and spit it out down his chest and stomach. Somehow during lunch, Gus gets Ada’s glasses off of her face. Ada gets them back and literally launches them across the table to me and they hit the floor. Thankfully, they didn’t break. After lunch is over, I scrub everyone down and ask them to please go play for a moment while I clean up. Gus gets out of his chair and grabs some food he has thrown on the floor and gets dirty all over again. Ugh…

11:30 AM – 12:00 PM – Lunch cleanup to include the chairs, the table, the floor, etc.

12:00 – 1:30 PM – We play, we run, we make messes, we build, we pretend, we have fun. Messy fun. Fun is almost always messy.

1:00 – 3:00 PM – I request that we have some quiet time. Gus usually takes a nap in the afternoon, but we have pictures today, so no nap. Ada plays a bit, Gus watches some television. Ada climbs all over me in an attempt to stay awake. She hasn’t taken a nap at home in a very long time. We take it easy for a while. During quiet time, I get 3 different phone calls regarding appointments and therapies for Augustus. I spend quite a bit of time on the phone.

3:00 PM – Poor Gus gets upset and cries and cries and cries. I rock him and hold him. This is one of the hard parts of everything. He cannot specifically tell me what’s wrong. I know he’s tired, and that probably has a lot to do with it. Granted, he cannot tell me what’s wrong. It breaks my heart sometimes.

3:30 PM – Grandpa and Grandma show up to help. Grandma gets Ada dressed and does her hair for me. I get Gus dressed. I mentioned before how hard it is to dress this 30+ pound rolling biting alligator. This applies here, too. It was even worse because I had to get socks on him, a button-up dress shirt, and dress shoes. I start the dishwasher as we head out the door.

4:00 PM – Grandpa and Grandma are kind enough to give us all a ride to pictures and also take me somewhere to drop a SeneGence order off. I sit down to fill out the paperwork for pictures while Grandpa tries to keep Gus contained and entertained. Gus wants to tear the building apart. He is trying to crawl under the table and get his hands into and onto anything he can. Grandpa is a trooper and keeps him corralled. Grandma handles Ada. I wish I wasn’t so flustered and sweaty and tired. I wanted to talk to some of the people I saw there getting their pictures taken as well. Sorry, Katie.

4:15 PM – Pictures! Ada does perfect. She sits still. She smiles. She’s good. Augustus is refusing to even sit. He pulls his sisters hair, pulls on her shirt. They eventually have to switch sides because Gus is taller than Ada when they are sitting. Gus is on the table sitting next to his sister and tries to lean forward off of the table. When that doesn’t work, he tries to lean backward. He just refuses to have posture in general for the picture. I’m sure they got something that will be cute, even if my arm is in it. I literally had to hold his full weight up with my forearm to make it appear as if he was sitting for the picture. I’m flustered, but it’s over.

4:15 – 5:00 PM – Grandpa & Grandma graciously take us out to supper. We deal with the drama that is simply walking down the street, the wanting to sit down, bolt, etc. Grandma finally carries Gus. We find a highchair to keep Gus corralled in. Gus falls asleep as soon as the food arrives. We eat and talk and have a good time. Gus gets some zzzz’s.

5:00 PM – Grandpa & Grandma take us home and help everyone into the house. I lay Gus on the couch, but he wakes up crying. I’m not sure why. I attempt to use the restroom in peace. HAHAHA. Ada comes in and takes her hair clip out and says “I don’t want to be pretty anymore!” and throws it on the counter. Then she strips down completely naked and takes off to find a blanket so she can go sit in the living room. Okay…

5:15 PM – I send grandpa and grandma some thank-yous and check in on my sister and niece via text message. I walk into the living room to see Gus has taken a part off of the refrigerator and it is now on the couch. I notice this as he is pulling on the curtains trying to rip them off of the wall. Then he heads to play with the vacuum.

5:45 PM – I decide since the kids are finally seemingly content that I’ll sit down and type up this blog post as a way to just relax and let go. Well…I got it typed, but it took me a long time. Ada was on the potty and had to summon me because Gus was getting into my makeup drawers. Then, Ada needed her butt wiped and Augustus got up onto the table and did something to the computer while I was taking care of said butt wiping. We had a meltdown during butt wiping because she did not want toilet paper, she wanted a wet wipe from Gus’ room. Okay…When I got back to the computer I couldn’t even get it to turn back on for the longest time. Now I have no cursor, and I can’t get it to show back up. Ugh. This was after repeatedly redirecting him from walking up and pushing buttons on the keyboard the entire time. Then Ada decided it was time to color. I took care of that for her. Then Augustus began to cry and whine. Again, he cannot tell me what he wants or needs. Because I know him, it was safe to assume that he was hungry since he fell asleep during our supper outing. This led to Ada deciding she wanted to eat again, too. Then a bit later Augustus decides to chew on some shoes. He is redirected. As I am trying to finish up, he has the piece of the fridge again and is headed to the living room. I head to the living room and he is on the couch jumping up and down and screaming and really enjoying himself. He now has no pants on…He got them off somehow. I see he got a hold of his old Diaper Genie and has thrown that into the hallway. He found a travel pack of baby wipes, too. These are on the entertainment center by the TV.

This may have been the most boring thing in the entire world to read. I understand. If you made it through, awesome! You must really like me.

Please realize none of this is meant to be complaining. It’s just a way of explaining some of the behaviors and things I deal with that are a bit different from you. It’s crazy, it’s wild, but it makes me strong. I have no choice but to be strong. Also, please don’t judge. I don’t need that. Life is hard enough. Also, please don’t judge my use of present and past tense. Yes, this is big. In the past, I would have made sure this post was read and reread and edited and reedited and then edited again. Some things just have to change, as I’m slowly learning. Bear with me all. I need and love you all.

Now, let’s see if I can get this posted without a cursor and Ada attempting to get up on my lap a grip on my forearm yelling my name…

Oh, and there goes the ENTIRE shoe rack to the ground. Loud bang. Shoes everywhere. Guess who? Yep, Augustus. And Ada wants her rain boots on.

Oh, Gus has something in his mouth!!! Ah, it was a cap off of a water bottle.

DVD player is open…he must have been playing with it.

I hope dad makes it home for bedtime. Its not looking promising.

Just a part of a day in the life. 🙂

– AMomsFaitUnbroken

Disclaimer: Times may not be exact – rough estimates. Ha. Also, I’m sure I did not document everything. This is only what my tired mommy brain can come up with as of now.

As I attempt to finish this…Augustus moves a chair at the table and gets onto the table attempting to get Ada’s crayons. He is redirected. He then decides to spin circles and attempt to take the fridge apart again.

Who knows when this will get posted. Haha.

I type over 100 words per minute people. This shouldn’t be taking me this long. Haha. I have to keep my sense of humor!

The diaper is off! Oh no. I get my arm stuck in the Diaper Genie trying to get something out of there that shouldn’t be in there. Owey!

Faith Unbroken

amomsfaithunbroken 5 Comments

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog.

Why Blog?

It’s an outlet for me to share my story, my journey, and my faith as I navigate through this beautifully painful and wonderfully difficult thing we call life. It’s also a way for me to reach out to like-minded individuals. A way for me to raise awareness. A way for me to cope.

Faith Unbroken?

Yep. Faith unbroken. No matter what life throws at me I will not lose my faith. I can’t. I won’t.

About Me

I am looking thirty right in the face, and I’m scared. I live in a very small town. I am married to my high school sweetheart who has been by my side unconditionally for almost 15 years (Whoa! I just realized, that’s half of my lifetime!) and legally married to me for 8 years. I am sarcastic, witty, and religious. I can get along with anyone from any walk of life. I struggle to ask for help. I seem to think I need to do everything on my own. I tend to get obsessive about organization and cleanliness when something is on my mind or when I’m stressed out. I have been exhausting myself on my days off cleaning and organizing my house. There are worse things, right? I’m a lover of music, makeup, reading, words, writing, and grammar. I am a proud mother of 2 children, a 3-year-old girl, and a 2-year-old boy. I struggled with infertility related to my PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and used fertility treatments to conceive the first time. The second was a big and quick surprise that came just 14 months after the first. Motherhood was/is my dream and now a dream come true. I was fortunate to be a stay-at-home mom for a while and now work part time as a bartender, which I did in the past before having children. I also sell makeup as a side-gig. I am a great listener and can understand babbling people and small children better than most, which I attribute to my past in the field of medical transcription (7 years). I am wordy, especially when writing/typing, and can get a bit obsessive about things. My latest obsession has been gut health and the brain gut axis and learning all I can about ASD (autism spectrum disorder). There’s a lot more to me, but I’ll keep it at this for now.

What to Expect

I plan to share a lot about my life as a “seasonally single mom” (only kind of) of a willful, talkative, sweet, and smart 3-year-old little girl, and a fearless, wild, snuggly, and so far non-verbal developmentally delayed 2-year-old little (big) boy; and wife of a workaholic, insanely busy, hardworking, loving, hunting obsessed, and stubborn husband. I want to raise awareness and share my journey to getting my son diagnosed and getting him help in living his best life with his disabilities. I want to share how my faith has been tested in that journey and journeys before. I want to share how these journeys effect my family and relationships .I want to talk about my fears, my hopes, my dreams. I want to help. I want to share. I want support. I want to support.

– A Mom’s Faith Unbroken